#9DaysofWomanhood – That 1st Year Being a Mom

Today’s prompt for #9DaysofWomanhood implores you to talk about the 1st year being a mom!

Thank You Misha for Introducing Me! Do check out her blog, because she has an awesome take on today’s prompt!

-Why did I call it THAT first year-

It is a defining moment when you decide to conceive, and being Pregnant is the best time a Mom can have because if you are like me, the 1st year makes you so strong, yet so vulnerable and so hat t without you ever realizing it.

When I retrospect on that time, which I do quite often, I remember clearly that I was struggling through a huge emotional roller coaster. That was a very bad time, and not the best time to have conceived!  I got pregnant and truth be told, thinking of the baby brought a new and welcome purpose to my life. I was all charged up to be the “Coolest Mom Ever”, but the pregnancy even though uneventful,  wasn’t a happy one mentally.

SO the truth is, even with all the help that I needed I wasn’t in a good position mentally when my 1st baby was born!

I did not feel any connect with my new born. Yes I was his MOM, and yes I walked around with him in my womb for 9 long months, but the day he was born and for quite sometime after it, I couldn’t bond!

What was the reason for it?

Honestly I have no idea!!

I suffered physically with breastfeeding. I had too much milk, but my son wouldn’t drink which led me having to squeeze it out. Which made me depressed thinking I wasn’t doing enough to feed him, I was failing or Falling – I couldn’t decide.

My son dropped his initial weight in the 2nd month because he was not breast feeding to his capacity. Which was again depressing. Because I had so much excess milk that I fell sick

I think things started settling, when the bubba turned 3 months and started breastfeeding well enough to gain weight and be less cranky! Exactly on July 13th, I breastfed him without crying out. Till that day because of cut/ bleeding nipples I cried every single time he tried to suck milk. I never looked forward to feeding him till then. And believe me, I tried everything that my Doctor suggested. EVERYTHING.

Sometimes people ask me why was I so hell bent on Breastfeeding, I could have formula fed him. These people have witnessed the plight that I was in. And I always said, that if I hadn’t got the milk that was needed, I would have gone ahead, i wasn’t against Formula – feeding. But when I had excess milk oozing out and baby that wouldn’t suck it in,  I felt I wasn’t doing enough 🙁

The rest of the journey after the Breastfeeding got easy and was like a fairly easy journey. I bonded with my baby, and was able to enjoy him too <3 During my 2nd Pregnancy, I had the same issues but I was mentally stronger and more prepared than ever. So even though my BFing was hard, I bonded with my girl easily <3

And if you read this and are where I was, believe me – if you have tried whatever the experts told you to do and it is still not getting better, hang in there – it is going to get better. And don’t let anyone pull you down for your choices or for whatever you do; because YOU come first, then your family, then everything else in this world!

So if you are going through a hard time, talk about it, talk and trust me even if you can’t find any solutions, it eases your pain a bit.

I would take the opportunity to introduce Charu, who blogs at <The Mom Sagas> You can check out her <blog> on the prompt for today.

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11 Comments

  1. Wow! And I thought I had it hard with sleepless nights. There are times when no matter how much we love our children, we get frustrated because of something. I remember mine wouldn’t sleep a wink at nights and I just wanted to hand him over to my mum and hide and refuse to listen to him screaming for me.

  2. Wow Veena, looks like you had a tough time but you found your way out and came out victorious. Talking and sharing is key. Thank you

  3. I can understand that depressing feeling but you are one strong mamma, who kept at it and didn’t let it go. It’s that moment which challenges us and once we accept that challenge everything starts getting settled. Kudos to you Veena 🙂

  4. Sometimes there’s no reason, man. I went through it for literally no reason. All I know is anyone who’s had a baby deserves lots of space, love, and time to get through it.

  5. Most of us have been through this. And the sad part is that because not everyone talks about it openly,often moms like us suffer . Its important to know that we are not alone in this. I’m so glad you didnt give up and kept trying .

I love to hear your thoughts!