Category: Motherhood

A Letter to My Son

Dear Aarya,

You are perfect, little boy! And I am blessed!

My baby boy, you have a heart of Gold and you will always be my favorite Boy forever!

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My Boy, there is a lot of pressure on men in this Era. From looking the wrong way, to saying the wrong things – there are many things that you could do wrong, but remember in your heart that your worth is measured by the way you treat the Woman in your life! From your Sister, to your friends, and probably best friends, to the Girlfriends you might have, to the Girl who will Choose you eventually and then to your beautiful daughter and so on. Not only these, but the woman unknown to you, whom you might not interact with.  Remember every encounter you have with woman, is always going to be measured on an invisible weighing scale!

On Woman’s Day, this letter is just some thoughts that I hope you remember –

    You own no one!

Just like I have no right on you, you will never “own” anyone. Your mate is not someone who is entitled to you! They are just people who are kind enough to share their paths with you.

     Be Kind!

Kindness goes a long way! Treat everyone with kindness, but especially your female counterparts

      You cannot control anyone!

Control is an illusion. Don’t try to control a person, neither be controlled. You have to remember that discussing things with your sister/ partner will be more fruitful

       You are not Superior and neither are you inferior

No baby, you are not superior – I am sure you know that! But know that you aren’t inferior to anyone either. Everyone around is born equal, just like you

       Respect

Just like how your sister needs respect, your partner also deserves respect. Only mutual respect will help you have happy and long lasting relationship with all the woman in your life!

        Body Beauty

The girls aren’t defined by their bodies. As much as I dislike Skinny – it is not my place to shame anyone including your sister/ partner/ friend/ colleague! A woman’s body endures more torture than you could ever imagine. And remember my boy, it is the heart you love and mind you please – body is but only a vessel for these amazing organs. Like you are allowed to have the body you want, every one else is too. So, NEVER body shame, and never let anyone body shme you <3

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I am sure you will be an amazing person my boy. But as a mother, I will never see you as a Person – you will always be my little boy!I hope you enjoy your life, make maazing memories, travel and live creatively! You were born free, you can choose, and I hope you choose Happiness

 

 

This blog post is a part of #Womensdayblogparty
. I’d like to thank Sinduja of MyTinyTigger.com for introducing me. She has written a post thats a fiction story and a great take on the prompt! I am sure you will totally enjoy this First time mommies post! Go Read!

And here I introduce, my friend Anshu Bhojnagarwala who blogs on Firstmommy.net to read her perspective on the topic.She has an amazing blog and she blogs about being a “First Time Mommy”!

Motherhood – It is NEVER a pretty picture

Motherhood – It is NEVER a pretty picture

Motherhood was a defining moment. Unlike many, I dived into it with ALL my paws splashed out sliding on the ice like the Mammoth “Manny” in Ice age. It wasn’t supposed to be hard, was it?! I saw my Stay at home, hardly educated Mom doing it with ease. I was educated, I was smart, I was a professional, I was born to slay it, babe !

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This post is part of a blog train started by Pooja Kawatra of Mums & Babies and she has networked to bring together 41 moms across the globe. Meet all 41 moms here. Pooja has also shared her own views on motherhood on her blog.

Hello. Preet — thanks a ton dear Friend and awesome blogger from My Little Muffin for introducing me. Preet is a flight attendant turned blogger 💝 A goofy mom who is here to break the STEREOTYPES and has her own mobile APP!

 

So Motherhood happened and that degree did not come handy, neither did a job. And I fell face first looking for air, where there was none.

That probably is a bit harsh, right?! Seriously the cute moms, all beaming with pride, and love at the little wonder they just pushed out. I was the stark opposite picture. I wasn’t beaming, I wasn’t proud, I was depressed. Read more on my story that I shared earlier here.

Life happened. And then you just have to root for basics. Go back and learn that motherhood wasn’t the pretty picture that my mom painted for me. She did with ease because she was a born Manager, she slayeq it because she worked the tiny details in the background. I slowly understood for the pretty picture, a mom has to work tirelessly through the yucky stuff-steadily. For most Days a new mom survives on little sleep, a poor zombie truly.

But as one says, there isn’t a journey like Mommyhood and as much as I suck at it big time, I also think it has given me this purpose, that wasn’t there before. Even though, it is never wise to invest all your PURPOSE in little people who will grow up to disappoint or make you proud, it nevertheless happens. We invest so much time, so much love and so much of us into their little lives, that Mommyhood is a journey that one never forgets or regrets!

On a normal day, they could kill each other ❤️ . But when they play together, it's the best thing ever ( even if it is short lived ) . They are so similar but so so different. They bully each other, they are each other's biggest supporters too. . When I am angry, Anjali turns to Aarya for comfort (no kidding) and that instantly knocks my anger off. . Like @beachwalkmuse said, after 7 years of parenting I thought I would have my shit together, but it seems it's going to take a decade more 😂😂😂. Until then, I just love their comradeship ❤️ . And I am glad that I thought of having 2 (the result of blurry hazy wishful thinking ) . Even though my Mom did warn me citing the example of her own life😱, being the tortured mama to myself and my sister @anupama.psh – who still never leave a chance to get to each other's throats 😂😂😂💕 . Oh well! To Infinity and beyond! 🤘🏾 . For having a Sibling, is like having a Mirror which never lies 🌸

A post shared by Veena Regit (@thereadingmomster) on

My little people are my driving force, my reason to wake up everyday and concur the day, concur my fear of failing or falling and concur the truth that I will NEVER have a pretty picture.

SO to all new and old moms out there, it si NOT the picture that you paint for the outside world, it is (without doubt) the big picture in which you slay the messes, the bad moments, the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the frustrations, the never ending milestones and you STILL have your PURPOSE defined, and your your HEARTS FULL. You LOVE, you LOVE and you LOVE some more!

I thank Pooja of Mums and Babies to have thought of this blog-train and given us the beautiful opportunity to be part of this Mega train <3

I am super happy to introduce Mehak from Baby and Beyond. Mahak is mom to an 18 month old baby and blogger at Baby & Beyond. Her blog is all about sharing her parenting escapades, with a focus on natural and gentle parenting techniques, mother and baby product reviews, age-appropriate toys, books & activities and baby food & recipes. She also has been dabbling in fiction of late. [Talk about Multi Tasking eh?]

#9DaysofWomanHood – My Inspiration – The Real Moms

Thank You Misha for Introducing Me! Do chech out<a href=”https://freshlybakedhead.wordpress.com/2017/09/25/and-we-made-through-37-weeks/”>her blog</a>, because she has an awesome take on today’s prompt!

I wake up everyday, to beautiful and strong woman in my lives. I see woman perfectly managing their households. My mom she is an amazing example! She perfectly manages her beautiful home, her family and is our Rock

You wake everyday, and are inspired to your very best. And today I want to dedicate my post to my amazing Co-Hosts

Honey Prisha (@mummasauras1) – Who blogs at http://www.mummasaurus.com/ This Lady is a mother of twins has 9k views on her blog from June this year. Mom Champion on “Baby Chakra“, featured on “Your Story“! And there are tons of places this Mummasauras has been featured <3 whooooosh! She is a Power Mom Blogger and I am so Proud to associate with her! She shows you how to write and how to do it with elan. She manages her home, her family and is a Woman of today!!

PreetJyot (@mylittlemuffin_mom)
– Who blogs at https://mylittlemuffin.com/ A flight attendant turned blogger, she is raising her Girls and breaking stereotypes! She is another blogger I am so so proud to associate with her. With her blogs about how to raise kick-ass girls, she is an amazing Youtuber and her blog also has an APP! How cool is that! She is taking blogging to the next level with this APP! She is a rock solid girl of today, and is one of my favorite bloggers and Instagrammers! She is a REAL MOM!

Charu (@themomsagas) blogs at www.themomsagas.com. Charu is another amazing blogger and Mom of twins! Her blog and her amazing writing got her nominated for Indian Blogger Award! How cool and amazing is that! She is also a Mom Champion for Baby Chakra

These woman and YOU are my inspiration everyday to wake up and put my best feet forward and rock this Blogging Journey.
As this Blogathon finishes, I am left with happy memories and great feeling of accomplishment! My co-hosts have pushed me and encouraged me to write about things I would have never wrote.I AM SUPER PROUD OF EACH ONE OF YOU WHO TOOK THIS CHALLENGE AND FINISHED IT! I was gleefully introduced some powerful blogs and I am so happy to associated with each one of YOU!

I would take the opportunity to introduce Charu, who blogs at <The Mom Sagas> You can check out her <blog> on the prompt for today.

#9DaysofWomanhood – That 1st Year Being a Mom

Today’s prompt for #9DaysofWomanhood implores you to talk about the 1st year being a mom!

Thank You Misha for Introducing Me! Do check out her blog, because she has an awesome take on today’s prompt!

-Why did I call it THAT first year-

It is a defining moment when you decide to conceive, and being Pregnant is the best time a Mom can have because if you are like me, the 1st year makes you so strong, yet so vulnerable and so hat t without you ever realizing it.

When I retrospect on that time, which I do quite often, I remember clearly that I was struggling through a huge emotional roller coaster. That was a very bad time, and not the best time to have conceived!  I got pregnant and truth be told, thinking of the baby brought a new and welcome purpose to my life. I was all charged up to be the “Coolest Mom Ever”, but the pregnancy even though uneventful,  wasn’t a happy one mentally.

SO the truth is, even with all the help that I needed I wasn’t in a good position mentally when my 1st baby was born!

I did not feel any connect with my new born. Yes I was his MOM, and yes I walked around with him in my womb for 9 long months, but the day he was born and for quite sometime after it, I couldn’t bond!

What was the reason for it?

Honestly I have no idea!!

I suffered physically with breastfeeding. I had too much milk, but my son wouldn’t drink which led me having to squeeze it out. Which made me depressed thinking I wasn’t doing enough to feed him, I was failing or Falling – I couldn’t decide.

My son dropped his initial weight in the 2nd month because he was not breast feeding to his capacity. Which was again depressing. Because I had so much excess milk that I fell sick

I think things started settling, when the bubba turned 3 months and started breastfeeding well enough to gain weight and be less cranky! Exactly on July 13th, I breastfed him without crying out. Till that day because of cut/ bleeding nipples I cried every single time he tried to suck milk. I never looked forward to feeding him till then. And believe me, I tried everything that my Doctor suggested. EVERYTHING.

Sometimes people ask me why was I so hell bent on Breastfeeding, I could have formula fed him. These people have witnessed the plight that I was in. And I always said, that if I hadn’t got the milk that was needed, I would have gone ahead, i wasn’t against Formula – feeding. But when I had excess milk oozing out and baby that wouldn’t suck it in,  I felt I wasn’t doing enough 🙁

The rest of the journey after the Breastfeeding got easy and was like a fairly easy journey. I bonded with my baby, and was able to enjoy him too <3 During my 2nd Pregnancy, I had the same issues but I was mentally stronger and more prepared than ever. So even though my BFing was hard, I bonded with my girl easily <3

And if you read this and are where I was, believe me – if you have tried whatever the experts told you to do and it is still not getting better, hang in there – it is going to get better. And don’t let anyone pull you down for your choices or for whatever you do; because YOU come first, then your family, then everything else in this world!

So if you are going through a hard time, talk about it, talk and trust me even if you can’t find any solutions, it eases your pain a bit.

I would take the opportunity to introduce Charu, who blogs at <The Mom Sagas> You can check out her <blog> on the prompt for today.

#9DaysofWomanHood – My Delivery and My Baby

We have a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.” – Laura Stavoe Harm

Thank You Misha for Introducing Me! Do check out her blog, because she has an awesome take on today’s prompt!

I shared My Birth Story in this post and how we prepared our 1st born for our precious little 2nd one!

If I thought parenting one was hard, having 2 was a recipe for craziness. But we had so much fn together!
Single Child, Pampered, who got his way always, to an  older child, always asked for help and always the one who gets punished for the silliest of things – Aarya grew mentally and emotionally multi-fold in that 1st year

Why did we decide to go for a Second Child?

I get asked multiple times, why we ever thought having a second kid?

It was an emotional decision and like everything in my life this was an impulsive decision.

  • We wanted Aarya to have a sibling. we both have siblings and we love them a lot ( even though I fight like crazy with mine) and we wanted him to grow up with a sibling
  • We wanted a Girl, more than anyone else we wanted to have a girl child! We had a boy and that was awesome, but to have a Girl is to have a friend for life ( for a mom). It doesn’t matter that the Girl I wanted for myself has joined the boy Gang now as their Partner – in – crime <3
  • We always talk about having 2 kids, we both aren’t very good at parenting but we always wanted a Goofy Family of 4 🙂

How did it effect our 1st born?

  • Aarya started off feeling insecure, attention seeker and a lot of tantrums ensued. I was lucky that my parents were always there, and they took care of him, gave his attention and made a big deal about every small thing about him.
  • Aarya did not take too kindly that he was gifted a sister. He noted that it would have been better to have a brother. ( a 4 year old’s observation)
  • Aarya grew fond of her day by day <3
  • Aarya understood how to  play to gently with her, never push her and talk to her. Understand her needs better than me and help her in all of her many 1sts <3
  • He learned to share, to give, to love and to accept that she is his constant companion.
  • the essence of a sibling relationship is that they hate each other, but they care for each other, can’t stay without each other, but when they are together they fight like anything. Aarya doesn’t like it if Anjie goes away alone to Mom’s place and vice-versa 🙂
  • In this world where true friendships are really difficult, my kids have each other
  • they don’t need TV or other mediums to keep themselves occupied, they always are pretend playing,p[laying a game or something to keep themselves occupied, they also watch TV together.
  • they are poles apart, but they care for each other <3

I haven’t regretted our decision ever. In fact I kept asking my Husband if we should have one more hahaha, to which he just rolls his eyes LOL!

I am fortunate to have 2 kids, and a beautiful family, and an amazing online community of fabulous Mommy- Friends, and I couldn’t have asked for more!

I would take the opportunity to introduce Charu, who blogs at <The Mom Sagas> You can check out her <blog> on the prompt for today.

#9Daysof Mommyhood – Let’s talk about Pregnancy

“Giving birth and being born brings us into the essence of creation, where the human spirit is courageous and bold and the body, a miracle of wisdom.”

– Harriette Hartigan

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. 

 

Today’s prompt implore us to talk about our pregnancy! And because i experienced it twice, and both very diverse emotions and diverse experiences made me understand that “Every pregnancy Journey is unique, the experiences are unique and the feelings are unique”

My 1st Pregnancy

I had a very easy first pregnancy, I had no issues, I ate, I had fun and i felt so pampered, but I had strong emotional upheavals (hormones to be blamed). I used to feel emotions, I couldn’t explain, I used to have outbursts, used to cry for a long time. After 15 hours of labour, my first child was born through normal delivery. But there was no instant connect with him either. Image may contain: 2 people, people sitting, child, shoes and outdoor

I struggled a lot with getting myself into that “perfect know – it – all” mom frame that exists only on TV or on Social Media, and I did not know what I was trying to achieve.  I struggled with breastfeeding for months, and then with the feeling of worthlessness, not getting attention, then to feeling overwhelmed by the whole mommying. I don’t remember anything being prefect in the first year post delivery!

Going for the next one-

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And then we decided (despite my experiences) to have our 2nd one! I was well prepared, emotionally equipped and I had my Husband prepared for all that lay ahead! But we weren’t really prepared for the emotional roller – coaster that our little boy would face! From being the only one to having his mom always occupied and not in her complete form, my little boy was not happy. His Big emotions came out in way of tantrums and whines and what not. I completely filled my 9 months in preparing him for a new sibling.

Preparing the Little Man for his Sibling

  • I started out by showing him his pictures when he was a baby. He had seen them, but I emphasized how tiny he was, how he couldn’t do anything without Mama. We talked about where babies live before they come into this world, how they eat, what they need and that we did all of this with him. We told him that right now there was a baby growing inside Mama’s Womb, and Mama has to feed the baby for the 1st six months from her Breasts. He was so curious, so understanding, but his question never stopped.
  • We read a lot of books together, the fiction ones, the non fiction ones. I did not tell him the “hows” but told him everything else.
  • We chose what toys we wanted to share with the baby, to which toys we did not want to share
  • We went to meet Babies. We saw a few if them, and eventually played and got to know them.
  • I always kept his reading time as our special time to cuddle and have fun.

Co – SLeeping

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Around 5th or 6th month we had to take this big decision, that Aarya and I couldn’t sleep next to each other because of the constant kicking. This was the worst time during the whole pregnancy. Aarya was so used to sleeping next to me, that it was very difficult for him to think of moving away from me. The transition was so difficult. Here are sme things that helped me –

  • we slept on the floor on 2 mattresses. we kept the mattress a little further away from each other.
  • we read books ( my standard way to introduce any thing for him)
  • we talked about a big boy bed everyday, and told him how he could have his own new bed and accessories!
  • we talked a lot about he was a big boy, who was independent and this was the only thing that he needed to do.

Even after everything there were lot of tears and frustations and lots of whyyyy y before he actually started sleeping on his own. we were firm ( we did not have an option) and within a month he started sleeping on his own.

Our 2nd Baby arrives

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Again after 15 hour long delivery, our bundle of preciousness was born and Aarya became a big brother! Our journey has been a mix of Ups and Downs, but I wouldn’t swap it for the world!

Being Moms we have so many different Avatars to play. Even if you are NOT a Mom by BIRTH, you go through the same exact situations in life and that makes you one awesome Mom.
<em>I would take the opportunity to introduce <a href=”http://themomsagas.com/2017/09/23/twin-pregnancy/” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener noreferrer”>Charu</a>, who blogs at &lt;<a href=”http://themomsagas.com/”><strong>The Mom Sagas</strong></a>&gt; You can check out her <strong>&lt;<a href=”http://themomsagas.com/2017/09/23/twin-pregnancy/”>blog</a>&gt;</strong> on the prompt for today.</em>

#9Daysof Mommyhood – Being a Mom – A generation who knows it all

“[Motherhood is] the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism.” – Gilda Radne

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. 

Mommyhood isn’t easy! Even if one would say that it has become considerably easy for Moms in this Era, I think the Moms in the olden times had their own set of positives and challenges. There isn’t much difference, except we have

  1. more research to help us with the intricate issues we might face
  2. more information on one’s fingertips, I would say information explosion.
  3. we have lots of services and help
  4. we are well connected to a community of supportive mom


Even with this positives, we have our own demons!

  1. We have more Judgmental People around us who do not think twice before using whatever media to call each other out over choices that are too personal to even have a judgement on!
  2. Every other person has an advice for how to raise perfect kids. or how to handle picky eaters and what should be the way we handle anything and everything! SO much advice that sometimes you feel choked up because of ALL of it!
  3.  The lure of the gadgets is so so prevalent, we are the smartphone moms, we also have smartphone kids who know how to navigate the phones better than us,
  4. We are mid way between leaving the old tested methods and adopting a more research based, sciences based child rearing experience and we have so many myths to bust that it becomes overwhelming to sort through it all!

But whatever be it, if you close your doors to negativity, and close your windows to wordly whispers and open your hearts and listen to you instincts, you will know that it doesn’t take much to weed out the negatives and water the positives in the garden called Life!

And Mom Life, even though it is overwhelming and sometimes confusing is something one MUST try and ENJOYbecause we have just one chance at creating this beautiful memories with the beautiful people that we CREATED!

And here are somethings I regularly do, to keep myself positive in these times,

  1. Yoga. I am not regular but when the going gets tough, and the mind is a hurricane. Yoga helps me to slow down and empty my mind. Focusing on my BREATH, makes me feel reall good!
  2. Switch off! I switch off my WiFi and Mobile Data for a BREAK from Social Media many times in a week! I love social Media, but it like everything can get overwhelming! And it can cause a lot of negative emotions!
  3. I Say NO to comparison!  No No No! do not compare yourself with other beautiful, completely sorted mom you see somewhere. Her battles are different and yours are different. Remember *grass is always greener on the other side*
  4. Say YES to your Partner in Crime. Seriously bring him in as your confidant, your partner. No matter how lazy or non helpful he is, your need for help won’t be ignored and SHOW him the ropes of the job too
  5. I IGNORE the lovely overtly helpful people. Say no to them. And Don’t try every new thing someone tells you. If something makes you fret and unhappy, that’s not good for you <3
  6. I Let my Folks help me, if they want TO! “It takes a village to raise a child”, so it is ok, if you want to take help. And if you choose not to, that’s ok! Remember this whole journey is YOURS, and you decide what you want!
  7. Its ok to have a messy home and all that. Your kids are happy and that’s the definition of success, nothing else!
  8. Set YOUR priorities, and work on those.
  9. If you are going to be working, KUDOS! Don’t let anyone let you feel bad for your CHOICES!
  10. You are doing awesome Mama, I tell myself this daily

I would love to hear about the challenges you face!

 

I would take the opportunity to introduce Charu, who blogs at <The Mom Sagas> You can check out her <blog> on the prompt for today.